Recognizing what you want to achieve in a conversation is key to deciding how much you should talk or listen. You won’t habitually default to talking or listening when you consider what you’re trying to do. At any point, instead of automatically talking or listening, you can ask yourself, “What am I trying to accomplish right now?”

Give information. “The next group practice will be at Karol’s house this Tuesday at 4 p.m.”

Influence someone. “I think unless Jasmine is nominated for the school board, parents won’t have a strong advocate.”

Clarify. “I didn’t mean that Jasmine is the only candidate who can advocate for us—just that she’s the strongest.”

Solve a problem. “Just press the red button at the bottom of the unit, and it will start working again.”

Listening is appropriate when you want to:

Take in information. The other person has information you’re seeking, and you want to receive it.

Understand someone. In addition to taking in their basic information, you can learn what someone feels, how they think, what their point of view is, and what’s important to them, among other things.

Build rapport. You can demonstrate interest in the other person and a willingness to consider what they’re saying, both of which help build rapport. And if you don’t listen to them, what are the chances they’ll listen to you?

Help someone calm down. When someone is upset, it’s often best to postpone lectures, advice, reassurance, and even encouragement. First just listen as they express how they think and feel. Being heard and understood frequently helps people feel calmer. (You can then offer ideas, suggestions, and supportive words afterward, if appropriate.)

When you consider whether to talk or to listen in a given moment, you can profoundly affect
the outcome of your conversation.

Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman are communication coaches. They offer communication skills training for individuals, couples and organizations that emphasizes the interplay of emotional intelligence, critical thinking and communication. Their site is https://letstalkmethod.com

There are significant moments in your life that can shock your system and jumpstart a personal reassessment.  Recently for me it was the loss of my father.  While my relationship with him in life was complex and loving, my relationship to him after he passed was clear: it was one of loss, regret and things that were left unspoken.

In the immediate aftermath of his passing I (we all) had the unfortunate beginning of a global pandemic. I fought against the isolation internally and externally drifted further from many around me. I had let my physical self go; my emotions had become convoluted and unclear.

I knew I needed external help, finding it in three key sources that touched different areas of my life. While the learnings are ongoing, deeper and more complex in each area, foundationally there is one great lesson from each ‘teacher’ that is worth sharing for anyone looking to take that first step to finding a path to personal progress and a measure of peace that comes with it.

The Therapist: “Approach self help from the third person perspective.” 

Think about how you talk to your friends or work associates when they present problems. It's easy for us, when we have care or context, to be the voice that can help or support others… but rarely do we apply that to ourselves. 

In approaching grief, I ignored myself, to a great detriment. I never stepped out of myself, outside of the stoic facade I had cut from a granite of pain and allowed myself space and time to process loss.

Doing it from ‘outside myself’ - looking outside at Lloyd and examining and supporting him from the perspective of another helped me have a relationship with grief. It helped me overcome personal obstacles and challenge myself, instead of assuming an archetype and narrative that I may have written myself into. There is comfort in defining a system of self (‘That’s just how I am…’) because it leaves thinking and the difficulty of change behind. Approaching from the outside, we can challenge ourselves like we do our friends, family and associates - knowing that obstacle is something we can overcome and will make us a better person.

The Executive Coach: “Maintaining your personal routines will help you achieve your professional goals.” 

 In our society it’s easy to drop into an ideology of ‘hustle culture’. We’re constantly being yelled at all over and online by ‘over achievers’ who swear by 4-6 hours of sleep and extol the ‘values’ of ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’. Monetizing the ‘abandonment of self’ seems like a tragic symptom of post-pandemic depression, evangelizing a hero-worship towards a practice of trading personal wellness for short-term monetary largesse (if it even happens).

So keep things simple for yourself. Make eight hours of sleep a norm. Make time for three days of working out. Walk for 30 minutes, wherever you can fit it in. Plan your meals - this is your fuel. Greet the sun in the morning, not your cellphone. Work can wait - and when you return to it you will functionally be more present, effective and enthused.

The Boxing Trainer: “One More Round!” 

My boxing coach, like any coach in life, has become a de facto therapist. I could dive deep into applying Boxing, the pugilist art, as a form of philosophy itself but for this I’ll keep things simple. 

One More Round with him is usually never just One More Round. When you’re not watching the clock, trusting your coach, that last round can last a lifetime if he lets it. And so your mind-set has to change - you are given One More Round. A last shot to change the momentum, change the result. You have a last shot to get the knock-out. Have the ref wave you off the other guy because there is an instinct in you that doesn’t stop throwing punches no matter how much your muscles feel like they are on fire, your lungs gasping, your legs barely carrying your weight, your vision blurring from the sweat falling about your face. Every extra round is a gift. 

When approaching a new day, a new month, a new year, think of it this way: no matter how much you feel like you lost that round, the rounds before it, perhaps the entire ‘fight’... you get this last round to change the narrative. 

Foundational learnings are universal. We know most of these, and because of that we take them for granted. That is the switch that we can all change. Perhaps dedicated support seems out of reach, however all these learnings and guidance do exist in Books, Podcasts, online, all around us, ultimately just waiting for us to make the decisions to switch our mindset from ‘it will find me’ to ‘I will seek it out’. Step outside yourself and tell yourself what you want to achieve. Establish a routine of good habits for your body to serve your mind. And If you don’t get it today there is a good chance you’ll be given One More Round.

Lloyd is based in New York, where as a producer and creative leader he has worked with some of the biggest and most successful businesses in marketing and publishing. Lloyd has been a part of teams that have won Cannes Lions (Brand Jordan - Last Shot) and had short films screened at film festivals (Malibu International Film Festival, Barcelona International Film Festival). 

How Working Through Grief Taught Me Three Key Lessons

Creativity is a powerful tool that can help individuals and teams innovate, problem-solve and generate new ideas. However, harnessing creativity can be challenging, especially when it comes to maintaining focus and managing distractions. Many of us get stuck, or don’t know where to start. Here are some tips on how to mindfully harness your creativity.

Cultivate a positive mindset: Start by believing that you are capable of being creative. Adopt a growth mindset and understand that creativity is a skill that can be developed and improved upon. 


Make space for creativity: Set aside time and a dedicated space for creative thinking. Remove distractions such as social media or other notifications that can interrupt your focus.


Embrace boredom: Allow yourself to feel bored and resist the temptation to constantly seek out stimulation. Boredom actually be a catalyst for creativity.


Experiment and explore: Don't be afraid to try new things and take risks. Explore different perspectives and approaches to your work.

The late Ram Dass reminds us, "The most exquisite paradox...is that the only way to truly change the world is to first change yourself." Believe that you are capable of being creative, and understand that creativity is a skill that can be developed and improved upon.

Foster a culture of psychological safety: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their ideas without fear of criticism or judgment.


Encourage collaboration: Build opportunities for collaboration into your team's workflow. Collaborative brainstorming sessions can generate more ideas and diverse perspectives.


Prioritize diversity and inclusion: Diverse teams are more likely to come up with innovative solutions. Encourage diversity and inclusion in all aspects of your team's work, from your hiring practices to your user and market research.


Celebrate and recognize creativity: Acknowledge and celebrate creativity within your team. Recognize team members who demonstrate creativity and innovation. Remember, as a leader, it’s not about you - it’s about the team.

Harnessing creativity mindfully requires intentional effort and practice, and by adopting some of these practices, we can unlock our creative potential.

Frank is Principal Product Designer at Headspace based in LA. He has an entrepreneurial spirit, kickstarting several businesses, consulting for startups, and building communities online and offline from ecommerce platforms to microbreweries and record labels.

Mindfully Harnessing Creativity: Insights