Our time, the most precious resource we have, has become more and more regimented - which should come as no surprise to anyone reading this. The pace of the world has been progressing at breakneck speed for quite some time. Our lives have begun to (may) feel like a whirlwind of sorts: working, striving, problem-solving, caring for others, in short, a constant stream of doing. Additionally, there is the ever-present buzz of emails, text messages, social media posts, etc. The one constant in our day-to-day lives is the incessant motion that we all find ourselves in. All of this leads to often feeling like we're on auto pilot moving from chore to chore. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
What is becoming abundantly clear is that the need has arisen for people like you and me - people who feel stuck in the unceasing inertia of day-to-day existence, drowning beneath the to-do lists that have taken over our lives - to change from the mode of doing to the mode of being.
The one constant in our day-to-day lives is the incessant motion that we all find ourselves in.
And we can begin doing that right now by practicing the art of the pause, or the “sacred” pause. It can serve to transform any mundane activity into something more profound.
Intuitively we can sense this need to just stop when we encounter the “big” moments of our lives, the birth of a baby, the death of a loved one, the embrace of a child, we can sense that by pausing we can tap into the natural presence and being states we all possess. But what about the more mundane moments? The third zoom call of the day, the line in the supermarket, the traffic on the freeway which makes you feel anything but free. Anytime you find yourself caught in reactivity and stress (which ironically is when we need to pause most) is the perfect opportunity to take a moment and realign fully with yourself and what you value most.
One of my favorite quotes comes from the Austrian psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl who wrote that “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
When we choose to pause is how we create the space for light to come through.
Making time in your day to consciously pause is not merely a suggestion to disconnect - which would be valuable in and of itself - but rather to fully connect to the here and now that you find yourself in.
The Sufi poet Rumi wrote, “Do you take regular visits to yourself? If you want to answer in the affirmative (which I believe is a universal desire), you are going to have to start intentionally creating breaks in your day. All that’s required is stepping back more frequently and listening to the inner voice that unfortunately so often gets drowned out by the noise around and inside us. When we make this a daily practice we can reorient ourselves back to, and focus on, what it is we truly desire deep inside.
Sounds pretty nice right? So what gets in the way of making this more than a one-off practice we can inculcate in our lives?
When we choose to pause is how we create the space for light to come through.
While there are a myriad of reasons why it's so difficult to just stop, it's our "addiction" to doing that serves as the main culprit. We have become so accustomed to this “doing” mode that it makes the simple act of pausing so difficult. So where do we keep getting hooked? Often our minds will be constantly churning out concerns and fears that there is something wrong. Or even if things are going just fine, we need to be anticipating whatever is bound to go wrong next, thereby becoming hooked on being constantly in a "doing" mode to quell that low-grade anxiety that feels omnipresent. We get hooked on thinking that there is always something missing that we need to be "doing" right now.
By taking the (sacred) pause you can break this cycle. Just to be clear, to embody this practice you don’t have to go off to some cave in Timbuktu or even do anything dramatic or extreme. Cultivating this ability to pause doesn’t require a major life shift. Pausing is for what’s happening in this very moment, exactly as it is. Essentially it allows you to be with whatever is happening in this very moment. And of course, if (when) you get blown off course, taking this pause will allow you to recalibrate, recenter and continue on your destination.
We have become so accustomed to this “doing” mode that it makes the simple act of pausing so difficult.
In truth, one of the biggest gifts we can give to ourselves during the busyness of our modern lives is to take a sacred pause. When we pause from the busyness, we give ourselves the chance and permission to reconnect to what's really true in the here and now. To take that regular visit to ourselves. You don't have to take my word on this. But try giving yourself permission to pause the next time things feel like they might be spiralling. You'll be grateful you did.
When we pause from the busyness, we give ourselves the chance and permission to reconnect to what's really true in the here and now.
About Dr. Ben Epstein:
Ben is a Mindfulness Teacher, Author of "Living in the Presence: A Jewish Mindfulness Guide to Everyday Life." and host of the Goal is Soul Podcast.